walking

DianaK

Appreciations…Starting year 5

This year I will continue to notice appreciations, but I might not post every day. I’m happy to report that my neural pathways for appreciating and gratitude are firmly established. Yay! It’s been incredibly helpful this year! Depression and anxiety from the heart trauma this past spring have tried very hard to trick me into a different, more negative way of looking at life, but my sweet little brain always nudges me back toward happiness eventually. 🙂

Here’s the start of Year 5…

1. Farmer’s market produce – yummy! Plus, the fun of seeing new friends from Friday group at the market. Turns out they only live 2 blocks from me!

2. Fun cars seen in my neighborhood!
cool car

3. Another gorgeous night for a walk. I love these cooler night temperatures!

IMG_48194. Luna, who is taking full advantage of the chaos up here as we work to incorporate 2 stories worth of stuff into the upstairs. 😉

5. Amazingly beautiful weather. Walks at this time of year are the best!!

DianaK

Appreciations 4.326-4.327

326
Beautiful weather. I love the cooler temps!

My excellent health team. I like my doctors so much. They are really wonderful.

Insurance. I am so grateful to have good insurance. The past few years would have been a nightmare without it. Today it saved me over $600 in prescriptions. Yikes.

327

lilies

Morning walk with Katie. So many pretty gardens in the neighborhood!

Delightful errands…including hearing a busker singing at the co-op. What a fun and unexpected treat!

2 bunniesEvening walk and bunny sighting. 🙂 The weather these past few evenings has made for such pleasant walks.

Lovely impromptu visit with Jeff and Maura who were out on their porch as I was returning from my walk. Fun!

DianaK

Appreciations 4.313

Entertaining lunchtime conversation with Cina. I learned that EMT training is like a Pokemon evolving. When she finishes this class, she’ll be a Charmander. If she gets her EMT-Intermediate training, she’ll be a Charmeleon. Apparently, paramedics are the same as Charizards… in that they can fly and breathe fire, I guess. 😀

Fun walk with Jeff & Laura…although it was much hotter than I’d expected. Got my 10,000+ steps in for the day, at least!

Amy Poehler. I’m listening to her book, Yes, Please, right now. Super fun!

DianaK

Appreciations 4.281 – habit energy

IMG_4382Today I’ve been thinking about habit energy. So interesting to think about things like this, and to pick and choose which ones I want to keep, which habits are serving me well. I will keep my habit of appreciating people and the big, wonderful world. I will work on releasing my habits of judgment and harsh thinking. ❤

Getting out for a sweet little walk this evening. I’ve been inside working a lot the past few days and really feel the difference when I’m able to get out and be in the world even a little.

Nice chat with Jeff tonight. I know he and Laura have been here for awhile now, but I am still appreciating the newness of being able to see and talk to them more often!

DianaK

Appreciations 4.260 – location, locomotion, alphabet

One of the things I love about my walks through the neighborhood is the fantastic variety of houses nestled together on every block.We have everything from 1950’s ramblers to 1920’s bungalows, stucco and brick houses, homes with brand new siding, fancy doors and funky rainbow colored doors, porches, patios, and front stoops, fences and trellises and stone retaining walls. The profusion of styles and colors and personalities never fails to delight me. ❤

More walking! After getting out of the hospital, I lowered my steps goal to 3,000/day – and some days I didn’t even reach that goal. This week, since my amazing session with Lynn, I’ve had increased energy and now my step goal is 6,000/day — which I’ve met every day since then (including one 12,000+ and one 9,000+ day!). It’s nice to feel like I can do things again. 😀

Alphabetized appreciations, balloons, cousins, daffodils, energy, friends and family, giggles, honey, imagination, jaguars, kaleidoscopes, learning, mustard, North Shore, opals, perfume, quality time, ripples, stars, trompe l’oeil, umbrellas, velvet, waterfalls, xylophones, yarns, zippers.

DianaK

Appreciations 4.259 -Mm hmmmmmm

Fri to done listToday’s to-done list! I haven’t had too many productive days like this since I got out of the hospital. How wonderful to feel my energy returning! Mmhmm.

lilacs may 6 smallerOh the lilacs and their delicious smell. I love love love lilac time! We do miss our elm tree, but without it, our lilac bush by the front door gets more light, so it is FULL of blossoms this year. Mmmmm.

I love walking through my neighborhood so much! I especially love those moments in between the hum of cars and people and airplanes that get filled with a vibrant chorus of bird song. Mmmmm.

DianaK

Appreciations 4.256 – anxiety, PTSD, EMDR, relief

may 3 blossoms smallerMay3 lilacs 2016 smallertulips 5-2-16

I’m learning so much about anxiety since my heart stopped and my ICD fired. Since I have a family member with GAD , I thought I understood anxiety pretty well. I was so wrong! It really is hard to understand until you’ve experienced it.

Since my big health event, I’ve spent pretty much every waking moment (and lots of dream moments) feeling some degree of anxiety and feeling unsafe. It ebbs and flows, but takes a lot of energy. The most surprising thing for me is that random things trigger physical expressions of anxiety (for me dizziness and tightness in my chest) — and that can happen even when mentally I feel more or less fine and am not feeling particularly worried about anything at all. It’s like someone flips an alarm switch in my brain and suddenly shouts “Run away! Emergency!” even though I’m calmly eating dinner with a friend. It’s alarming and very challenging.

So what do I appreciate about this? Well, I certainly wouldn’t wish an ICD shock, heart failure, or anxiety on anyone 😛 — but I do appreciate the education this mini-course in anxiety is providing me. I appreciate the chance to develop a deeper understanding of what it is like for people who struggle with anxiety. And I appreciate that my new understanding will help me be a better support person for those people.

Naturally, I am also grateful that, for me, this is a short-term, situational experience. I am lucky enough to know that I’ll be able to return to my “regular” self and walk through the world feeling pretty safe most of the time.

I also really, really appreciate my gentle, patient, incredibly insightful and helpful therapist who is helping me work through the PTSD and start to get back to feeling normal! Each EMDR session leaves me drained for the rest of the day… but the results are stunning.

After today’s session, I was able to go out for a walk (1.5 miles) by myself – and it was the first time since I got out of the hospital that I’ve able to do that without being filled with anxiety the whole time. It was such a relief to simply walk and breathe and not be on red alert, constantly assessing how far away from the house I was, wondering what would happen if I passed out again, hoping I wouldn’t have to go back to the hospital… It really did feel like a miracle.

I am so grateful for how quickly and deeply the EMDR works, and for Lynn’s expert help. Now that I’m working with her every week (because at first I was too anxious to get through an appointment!), I know my recovery is going to go quickly. If you or anyone you know might benefit from this kind of work, I highly, highly recommend her. ❤ lynnharrisluetgers.com