278. Progress on the “reclaim the path” project — today we finished weeding and adding pea gravel & sand between the paving stones!
Chamomile Calm Tazo Tea.
Red apricots.
279. Coffee and lunch with Cina and Kat (today’s therapy transportation). They’re so much fun to spend time with! 
Really helpful session with my therapist today. I keep thinking / hoping for a linear healing process… but the truth is that my PTSD journey really isn’t working out like that. So…I’m still learning to be okay with how things are, learning to be more gentle when I can’t do what I’d planned to do (like errands and a bunch of work), learning to take one day at a time. Well, in theory I’m learning these things, anyway… 😉
Hedgehog headwear. 😛
Wonderful dinner and walk with the Kat and Mckenzie. We saw so many bunnies and an owl, too!
Sweet support from the kids, who kept me company while I managed more of my anxiety by getting my hospital “go bag” ready, and writing down the different scenarios so we all know when to call 911 vs. drive to the ER vs. wait and call the heart clinic during business hours. It helps me to have these things figured out — but the process of recording them triggers so much anxiety that it’s been impossible for me to do them on my own. I sure am lucky to have such understanding, supportive people around me!
More progress on the walkway on the south side of the house. It feels so great to be making progress on projects like this that have been neglected for years. Today we got another bag of weeds cleared out and got all the new plants in the ground.
Fabulous news from my PA Amy today — I get to drive again!!! Just short distances and no freeway driving, but it feels so exciting to have a little autonomy again! Plus, lots of other reassurances and helpful info like the fact that lots of people in my situation have anxiety and PTSD issues (I’m not alone!) AND the side effect of my anti-arrhythmic med that can cause skin to turn blue is, in fact, rare. Amy has only seen one case of it in 16 years at the heart clinic. I’m SO happy to stop worrying about turning into a smurf. 😉
Learning to ride this roller coaster of healing — and having so much support along the way. ❤ During the past few weeks I’ve started thinking I “should” be working more and getting more stuff done now since I’m not having dizzy spells so often and I feel okay. So, then on days when I can’t seem to do much of anything or want to sleep all day, I’ve been feeling like I’m just not trying hard enough. Ouch. Fortunately, I have some intuitive, gentle, and helpful people around me to remind me that being shocked and having your heart stop are not really like having a cold… and maybe, just maybe the effects and healing will have a slightly different schedule. Thanks for the reminder, sweet people. 🙂
So many sweet moments today. I like the feeling that I am learning to hold the truth of the challenges in my life right alongside the truth of the beauty in my life.
Glorious visit with Sarah and Ida, plus getting see so many improv friends at today’s gathering. It had been a LONG time, so it was marvelous to catch up a little.❤
seriouslyhappy2.com 