Celebrating Pam

Two weeks ago my dear friend Pam died. It was more sudden than we expected and losing her is hitting me hard.

Pam was my appreciation buddy, a brilliant singer, and the truest of friends. She was a beautiful woman with a fantastic laugh, a stunningly bright smile, and reserves of wisdom and caring that boggle the mind.

Pam was such a bright light in the world and in my life, and I miss her every single day.

I met Pam during rehearsals for the women’s world music choir we were in, the Earthtones. I was in awe of Pam’s magnificent deep alto. And even though I was across the room in the soprano section, we found each other early on and became fast friends.

Occasionally I’d help fill out the alto section on a song and we got to sing right next to each other. Bliss!

Pam, Peggy (our Earthtones director), and me rehearsing at Peggy’s house

For a few years Pam and I were in a small group, Juniper Skye, with another wonderful singer and drummer. We didn’t play out a lot, but we had so much fun!

The harmonies we made! The laughing we did! The time we had cake for Kristi’s birthday and my dog ate all of it when we were in the other room! 🤣

We often rehearsed around a little table in the back room of my house. Sometimes our feet would touch and Pam noticed how cold my feet always were.

So… of course she wrote “Vampire Feet”, a fun jazzy number about my tootsies! It was one of my favorite songs.

Pam was my first appreciation buddy. As soon as I started posting my daily appreciations online, Pam joined right in. It made it so much more fun — and easier to stick with — to have a friend doing it, too.

Pam enthusiastically cheered me on whenever I tried something new. She came to almost all of my Seriously Happy classes and her wisdom and energy added so much depth to those experiences — for me and for the whole class.

Our conversations ranged over a huge variety of topics. We talked about cats and art and aging and health. We shared whatever new thing we’d learned or project we were working on (always something!).

We talked about the challenge of healing childhood wounds — and ways we could grow into being even more our authentic selves.

Pam and I sang together during her chemo treatments, cried together when my sister died, and laughed at the absurdities of our lives.

…Like that time in the chemo lounge (Pam’s name for the infusion center) when the musak playing was Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust”! Hilarious.

And we laughed. Every time we talked, we laughed. I can still hear her laughter in my mind. What a beautiful sound.

I can still feel Pam’s light and love around me today, but I am going to miss her the rest of my life. ❤️

Appreciations 3/26-3/30: Diana and the Beautiful, Wonderful, No Bad, Very Good Day. (Plus a few other things from before that.)

The aforementioned BWNBVG Day
Starting the day with Katie at Carley Coffee!Carley Coffee 3:2017

Small vehicles carrying precious coffee beans.

Completing several tasks that have been on my to-do list for more than a YEAR!

Fun socks.

Walking around Uptown on my first 10,000+ step day in at least 6 months.

Cina’s good news! Plus her silliness. Heck.

Window art 3:2017Window art with Sarah & Ida. I love our ever-evolving, communal art!

Dragons!

Sarah’s way with words. Did you know that croissants are a donut-adjacent food? 😆

Ida’s breathtaking bedtime performance, ending with a mash-up medley of classic songs – Itsy Bitsy Spider, You Are My Sunshine, ABCs, and Old MacDonald. Brilliant!! 💚

Other things
From now on, any day that I am neither prepping for nor undergoing a colonoscopy shall be considered a Very. Good. Day. 😉

Jeff, who got up at WTF o’clock to transport me to the procedure and keep my company while waiting. And my folks for babysitting me after the procedure.

The med student who rubbed my back and patted my shoulder during the procedure (which took longer and was more challenging than usual for a variety of reasons).

Me, for trying to do Laughter Yoga during the procedure. Even sedated I am hilarious. (And Jody for introducing me to the practice in the first place!) Ha ha ha ha ha! ❤️

Looking forward to next week….with NO doctor appointments for the first time in several months. Wonder what I’ll do with all my spare time!

Appreciations 3/14-3/16: Catrobatics, spiralizer & toddler workouts, sleep constructing

Toby’s slo-mo post-nap descent from the chair. Catrobatics!

I love funny conversations – and that I have so many of them. 😀
1. When I called to schedule my tax appt, the first date avbl was the day I’m scheduled for a colonoscopy. The scheduler and I laughed and laughed about how given the choice between working on my taxes and a colonoscopy, I picked the latter. Hahaha!

2. At my infusion appt, my nurse and I were discussing my myriad bruises and she suggested that perhaps they’d come about due to my secret nighttime construction job. Sleep constructing! Bwahahaha!

Sweet potato surprise!Scrumptious spiralizer meal Sarah and I made. A delicious sweet potato noodle dish, a decent upper body work out (srsly. sweet potatoes are NOT interested in being spiralized.), and surprising looking sweet potato sculptures resulted.

My new personal trainer, Ida! Loves being chased, lifted, twirled, danced with, and bounced. Workouts have never been so fun! ❤️

Remembering things. I made an unscheduled grocery run, so didn’t have my list. I still managed to get 13 of the 14 things that were on the list. #win #everythingisagame

Appreciations 3/8-3/13: Galloping, blustering, and brunching, oh my.

Luna when she gets her crazy on and gallops up and down the hall over and over. Silly old girl. Hahaha!

Watching the world on a blustery day.

Enough energy to start my tax prep.

The reliable and friendly mechanic I’ve worked with for decades.

Soft PJs.

Friday night race group. So good to have a place to learn and stretch and grow.

Seeing I Am Not Your Negro with a few people from the group. What a thought-provoking and powerful film. I also super appreciated the chance to talk about it with Ellis after the movie.

Birthday brunch with Sarah & her folks. ❤️

Watching Ida dance. So much joy in such a tiny person! 😀

Pretty snow to make the cold temps a little easier to tolerate.

Legos, naps, sunshine, smiles, giggles, hope, coffee.

Appreciations 3/1-3/2 – Slumber, sunshine, and silliness!

Another decent night of sleep. That’s 2 in a row, folks. TWO!

This morning’s beautiful peachy-pink skies. 🌞

Good meeting with the GI doc on Tues. A couple more tests, but at this point looks like we might be able to treat with meds instead of surgery. Yay!

toby-with-lego-flowers-mar-2017

Still life with Toby and Lego flowers.

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! I’m chortling in my joy…
…from having energy. Wow! Yesterday was thrilling – I made my bed! I ate some food! I did some work! I might do all of those things again today. Maybe I’ll even leave the house!

The extremely silly fun Sarah and I are having as we figure out how we want to run the household. Her response yesterday, when I accused her of buying sponges twice in a row? “The sponges I brought with me into the relationship do NOT factor into the household sponge accounting going forward.”

Oh hahaha! She makes me giggle.

Appreciations 2/23-2/28 – Good stuff: good brain, good times, good timing, good work

I love that my brain does such good work for me. Even as I work through this challenging health stuff, my brain shines the spotlight on my immense good fortune. Thanks, brain! Here’s good stuff from the past week.

Hanging out with the Katie & Cina who helped me prep meals so I’d have food for the week. Thanks, girls!

Amazing ride home with Cina… I suggested that the ride would take 7 1/2 minutes… and then, since we love to measure things, I set the stopwatch. Guess what? EXACTLY 7 1/2 minutes. I mean, okay, it was 7:30:22… but I’m calling that close enough.

Managing to stay OUT of the hospital (I mean spa) over the weekend. I DO love the folks there, but I really felt like we needed some time apart.

Having a flexible work schedule that allows for days (or weeks!) of tending to my health first and fitting in work on the edges.

Truly wonderful and understanding clients.

The amazing Sara who keeps things humming along when I’m out of commission. Wow, am I lucky to work with her!!

Hilarious timing with both of my brothers the other day – our texts crossing paths at the same moment as we were thinking about each other. Fun!

Working with Sarah on Seriously Happy stuff. It makes me, you know, seriously happy.

Appreciations 2/6-2/9: legos, laughter, little miracles

lego-kisses

Valentine-themed lego fun thanks to Sarah!

Newly organized craft supplies. Woohoo!

Dinner with Sarah, Ida, Katie, and Cina. What bright, funny, adorable people! ❤️

U of M cardiology’s very pleasant hold music. What a treat. 😀

Sunshine.

Not being sick!! OMG what a little miracle this is. Feels amazing!!

Toby in the new box. Yay!

toby-in-the-box

 

Appreciations 1/20-25: more bingo, fun appts, toddler language, clean floors!

The super fun call I got from my mom, telling me how much fun she had playing our new MDFUN bingo game at her doctor appointment. I thought this game could make appointments more fun for and create stronger connections between patients and care-givers. Early reports from my awesome beta-testers (my family), suggest that it does have that effect. Yay!

The inspiring photos and videos from all the marches. I was too sick to go, but it was so encouraging to see all those engaged people (with their clever signs 😊) out there. ❤️

OTC cold meds to take the edge off for a few hours. Phew.

Watching Ida discovering more and more language. I love it! 2 of my faves this week are:
“Getchu (get you) me, Mama!” to ask Sarah for snuggles or tickling and “Nana upstairs, too” to ask me to come downstairs with them to get her ready for bed. Sweet!

Making soup with Sarah as we both coughed our lungs out — and made fun of our sickly household…which then made us laugh-cough some more. One of most silly and fun sick days I’ve had. 😆diana-bingo-day-1

My own experience with the MDFUN bingo game. Wow! Even more laughs and smiles during my 4 hours of appointments than usual (and that’s saying a lot!). I love this.

All the new docs I’ve been working with this month. I really, really like the Diana Transplant Team so far! Of course, I am still planning to be a statistical outlier and not end up needing a new heart after all… but meanwhile, I feel like I’m in great hands as we get things lined up for that possibility.

Mckenzie, who very thoughtfully vacuumed the house so it’d be nice and clean for me when I got home from my long day of appointments and tests. Thank you, Mckenzie!

My mom and dad. Not only are they incredibly loving and supportive, but they are also smart, funny, delightful people whom I really enjoy spending time with. Love you guys!

 

 

 

 

Appreciations 1/19/17: legos redux, MIA awesomeness, combining my 2 greatest talents

yas-queen-2017

Legos, again. With props.

MIA. For so many reasons, including their extended hours tomorrow. Love you, MIA! 💜

MIA will be open Friday, Jan. 20, from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. We are open to all and admission will be free, as always. Everyone is welcome to join us and to view artwork that has the potential to inspire, challenge, celebrate, and stimulate us. Art is the expression of what it is to be human and we are therefore a great place to visit, whatever your mood.

Figuring out a way to combine my strongest skills…making things fun and doctor-appointment-attending! Since my dad and brother both have a bunch of appointments this month, too, I decided we should at least have some fun! I made up a set of MDFUN (which is played like BINGO) cards for us.

It was Sarah’s awesome idea to make it even more fun by suggesting I use a randomizer and spreadsheet to generate the different cards. (Plus she had some excellent suggestions for the cards!) I am telling you. We really know how to have fun around here! #imserious #everythingisfun

MDFUN Bingo.jpg

Appreciations 1/13-1/17: Purple legos, brilliant insults & compliments, Bat Girl giggles

There are so many things I appreciate every day… and while do I notice and revel in them, I’ve been forgetting to write them down! 😆

Here are a few things I remember loving about the past week…

happy-legos

Making happy words out of my new purple legos. Thank you, Sarah! 💜

Being part of the wonderful racism listening and talking group that’s been meeting weekly for the past 6 months. I so appreciate having a safe place to ask my clunky questions, examine my own racism, and process my thoughts and feelings about racism. If you want to know more about our model and what we’re doing, PM me!

Getting ALL green lights on the way home from group on Friday. Woohoo!

My cousin Ivan, the jovial, tiger-booted wit-cracker, who, in response to a challenge, managed to fit a Shakespearean insult into this week’s column. Well done, old pal!bat-ida

My favorite Bat Girl, the softly-sprighted, fairy-gold heartling, Ida! Every day she brings some fresh new joy into my life.

Silly little Luna, who steals cat toys from Sarah’s cats and then plays with them like a crazy kitten!

Sunlight sparkles and shifting shadows on the snow.

Craft time with Katie and Cina!