Celebrating Pam

Two weeks ago my dear friend Pam died. It was more sudden than we expected and losing her is hitting me hard.

Pam was my appreciation buddy, a brilliant singer, and the truest of friends. She was a beautiful woman with a fantastic laugh, a stunningly bright smile, and reserves of wisdom and caring that boggle the mind.

Pam was such a bright light in the world and in my life, and I miss her every single day.

I met Pam during rehearsals for the women’s world music choir we were in, the Earthtones. I was in awe of Pam’s magnificent deep alto. And even though I was across the room in the soprano section, we found each other early on and became fast friends.

Occasionally I’d help fill out the alto section on a song and we got to sing right next to each other. Bliss!

Pam, Peggy (our Earthtones director), and me rehearsing at Peggy’s house

For a few years Pam and I were in a small group, Juniper Skye, with another wonderful singer and drummer. We didn’t play out a lot, but we had so much fun!

The harmonies we made! The laughing we did! The time we had cake for Kristi’s birthday and my dog ate all of it when we were in the other room! 🤣

We often rehearsed around a little table in the back room of my house. Sometimes our feet would touch and Pam noticed how cold my feet always were.

So… of course she wrote “Vampire Feet”, a fun jazzy number about my tootsies! It was one of my favorite songs.

Pam was my first appreciation buddy. As soon as I started posting my daily appreciations online, Pam joined right in. It made it so much more fun — and easier to stick with — to have a friend doing it, too.

Pam enthusiastically cheered me on whenever I tried something new. She came to almost all of my Seriously Happy classes and her wisdom and energy added so much depth to those experiences — for me and for the whole class.

Our conversations ranged over a huge variety of topics. We talked about cats and art and aging and health. We shared whatever new thing we’d learned or project we were working on (always something!).

We talked about the challenge of healing childhood wounds — and ways we could grow into being even more our authentic selves.

Pam and I sang together during her chemo treatments, cried together when my sister died, and laughed at the absurdities of our lives.

…Like that time in the chemo lounge (Pam’s name for the infusion center) when the musak playing was Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust”! Hilarious.

And we laughed. Every time we talked, we laughed. I can still hear her laughter in my mind. What a beautiful sound.

I can still feel Pam’s light and love around me today, but I am going to miss her the rest of my life. ❤️

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