Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of my sister’s death. We just passed the 6-month mark since my Dad’s death, too, so I was feeling especially tender.

My daughter and her partner came over in the morning to spend time with us. We shared donuts and bagels and drank a toast (with Jeni’s favorite coffee drink) to Jeni. It was so good.

I am feeling loved and supported and grateful.

I almost didn’t ask Katie and Cina to come over. I was caught in old patterns of thought that say I shouldn’t ask for support unless it’s absolutely necessary. Ooof.

That thought is not supported by my lived experience (nobody has ever asked me to stop asking for help), nor is it a thought that I stand by.

The idea I do stand by is that we are meant to be interdependent — and that asking each other for help is vital to our relationships and to our well-being.

So as I stumble across the old thoughts, I remind myself how good it feels when someone I love asks for help and I am able to say YES! I remember that even when I’m not able to help, I appreciate being asked. I relish the trust and connection that asking for — and being asked for — help fosters. And then I cry some more. And then I ask for support.

I hope you are finding ways to ask for the support and help you need. And when you do ask for what you need, I hope folks around you are celebrating your willingness to take care of yourself. If it helps, I will be here celebrating your bravery and vulnerability in asking. ❤️

Asking for help is one of the topics I’ll be covering in my class this week, Preventative Self-Care. I’m offering this free class via zoom on Thursday, November 10th from 7:00-8:00 PM.

If you’re interested in learning some research-based self-care tips — both on-the-spot quick tips and ways to build some simple self-care habits, I’d love to see you there!

You can learn more about the class here or jump in and register here.

Here’s to a week of supported interdependence and love! 😊