Right now, my days are a balancing act. I’m really feeling my mortality and a decent dose of depression and anxiety…and at the same time appreciate so deeply all the riches of my life.

It feels a bit disingenuous not to acknowledge the duality of my days, so here are today’s appreciations. Plus.

I appreciate my incredibly supportive, loving, generous friends. Every day is richer for knowing you.

It is a supreme drag to have heart failure and Crohn’s. My energy and sense of well-being vary wildly from day to day, sometimes from hour to hour. It is not fun.

I appreciate all the things that make me laugh: my friends and family, Ida Ida Ida!, my own silly brain, puns, inside jokes (SPADOS!), mistakes, foibles, sounds, jokes, smiles, thoughts, the My Little Pony theme song playing in my mind…

I am not a fan of facing big decisions about how to manage scary health things.

I adore Sarah and our weekend Coffee & Canasta mornings. AND that she gives me space and encouragement for Coffee & Canasta & Crying mornings when needed.

I dislike the hot humid hotness.

I am SO grateful for spare AC units, fans, dark curtains, and a life that lets me stay indoors and still when I want to.